I exist
Because I insist on
Struggling for an existence
which I do not understand
And if I understood it
I am sure that I would be disappointed.
I have been deceived
Yet within every moment
I insist on the truth of that illusion
For which I live.
Harrowed by garbled necessity
The laughing cosmos pierces my ego
Alone
I am crucified
Upon a cruel spar of inward truth––
Bleeding sanguine indifference.