when i grow up next time round

when i grow up next time round
i want to be a regimental
angel––

to do only good &
do no harm

here, i am
caught in this
gravity-laden world
surrounded by
shadows

this world’s source of brightness
seems withdrawn & far away

my personal umbra
is rabidly biting
at my ankles

i awake in darkness
& my mind is numb
with worry

am i suffering
by choice
or by circumstance?
what is this
pain?

i am confused
i am confused
& my heart
feels like
stopping

take life &
eat

be life &
breathe

drop all pretensions
of wisdom
for you are not
wise

human beings are dust
in the clothing of
angels––

angels are humans
in the presence of
God

we are ecologies of life
swirling in a hymn of
grace

your ego isn’t
who you
are or why you’re
here

in the next reality
you assuredly won’t have
the same
name

to taste the good
respect what you imagine
to be bad

we can not save
the innumerable beings
from falling back
into the ravenous black hole
of things––

nor can we hope
to transform herds
of thumping matter into diaphanous
light

unless we do it
together