i awoke on the top
of 67 mountain––
my unconscious
crossed over before
day light
sitting motionless
like dawn
68 mountain is looming
vertically upward behind me
too metallic and featureless
to begin to climb
below me
the green & blue of earth
with great libraries of wisdom
& venerable institutions
of creativity & action
look.
along the edge of a forest
across a flowering field––
a meandering path
to visit shakespeare,
socrates & franklin
above me
on this dark & dingy day––
a thick bank of clouds
concealing infinities
what is earthly here
is also more beautiful
than heaven
when the searching sunlight
dissolves the dark opacity,
what is real?
the imperative
to feel
beside me
my love is sleeping
in our open heart
within me
buddha, lao tzu &
confucious are walking across
a meadow, talking with
jesus
yes. there are invisible pens,
& poems & photographs
floating in invisible
air
‘history is a nightmare
from which i am trying
to awake,’ said james joyce
through the voice of stephen
dedalus
if i am awake, i am drowning
in history & disbelief––
my country is charging downhill
like a braying confederate army
dragging a frail conscious pearl
on a string
yesterday our president signed
away
the virginity of the arctic––
the interlocking wars––
the crushing forces of ransack
economics
& the overwhelming
& bloated powers of constipated
wealth
control the global destiny
guns, greed & fool’s gold––
recklessly consuming the past––
hoarding
the outright ownership of the future
& what of those
lost to violence & tragedy every day?
business as usual––
i am a pool of anxiety chemicals
sloshing out of control
where in all this hope
is my quiet, holy
self?
my body is genetically strong
& my bones are morally straight––
but I am tainted with cancer
& the medicines concocted
to kill cancer at any
price
to be well is to be
in & free of this body––
my soul is partly stitched
to this living-dying
world
& my spirit is hovering
in freedom
between
time &
nirvana
when the non-life
comes––
only virtue matters––
no need for brains
or guts
just grace & nobility
nobility & grace
as long as there are
singing birds
gliding through celestial
skies
i will be eyelessly
watching