nothing personal (or (the muffled scream))

please do not take this personally.
you must realize that our Corporation is
   responsible only to its shareholders
   & they deserve a fair return
   on their financial investment.

a Corporation must change to succeed.
i wasn't your boss twenty years ago.
   how can you expect me to remember that
   you never missed a day & never failed
   to do your work, even once.

the Corporation has records and will structure
your severance accordingly.
   how could we be more generous. other
   companies might be giving you nothing
   today.

we know that you did your job. we can prove that
we paid you. & we threw in
   your pension & 401k & matching gifts. & i
   won't even mention the long distance
   phone calls or the photo-copies.

why are you sniveling that your husband is dead.
that you need the money. that you're afraid to be
   alone. these things are probably covered under
   our COBRA plan. you can ask your lawyer.

now, please. pack up your desk & leave our premises.
i have two other people to talk to before lunch.
   & be sure to remember,
   it's nothing personal.

   we'll turn out the lights once you're gone.