i
At one time in my life,
I pounded steel rods
into the center of my spine
For strength,
Added the brown blood
of gladiators to my own
For courage,
And filled my joints
with sand
As I never wanted to flinch
And there would never be a need
To run.
ii
Now I am older and
Out of love.
Partly because
I am too rigid to sway
with the rhythms I can feel
And partly because
This stiffness is a
kind of death
At a time when I really
Want to live.
iii
If you wish to be
my friend
You must stay with me
As the anxiety melts
out of my bones--
As the gladiator oozes
out of my blood--
As my joints bleed
sand to the sea.
iv
And if you would be
my lover
Teach me
to dance
With the patience of
a summer afternoon.
Or you can simply
touch me and
Release the tears from
every pore of my skin
Or tell me––teach me––
how you want to
Be loved––
To make and mold the
motions of passion
However you wish.
v
For in this fleshy kingdom--
we are lords
Who rule at whim––
And by shared decree
forthwith declare
Our will––
That we will live
forever
In each moment of
this life
And feed
on the brightness
In each other's eyes.
We will dedicate
our bodies to
Our body's end––
Making love
Like gods
The way
We both desire.
(Part of An Operator's Manual for Robert)