the perfect lamb

the same dead notes on the keyboard––
the same hollow chambers in the heart.

the calendar reports
   you’re all grown up.
your ego says things
   couldn’t be better

but it will cost many
   life times to expiate
      those dirty memories
   to boil away the blood
      from your crustacean
skin.

guilt
   migraine in a windowless
      room

you drink black milk to
   prosecute the soul; to
      keep the spirit cold; the
      demons
crazy.

sleep
   a train that never
      arrives

you are trying to
   drop the iron cloak
      from your shoulders–– to
      cut the shackles from your
      chest–– to
breathe.

you have forgotten how
   you have sinned, whether you
      have sinned, & no
      body alive can
remember.

taste your tears.
   are they of love or
      anguish?

   bitter-
      sweet nectars of
      too-long
life.